i look into your eyes and i see a future. i hear your boots up the front stairs and the door opening when you come home after a long day’s work. i can see romantic meals with candles and red wine even if i don’t like the taste, because you do. i look into your eyes and i see my future, filled with spontaneity and love because you never fail to provide me with both. i lay here now, in your arms, and i know this is where i belong. you are the sun rising on the horizon as we watch from our front porch with wrinkles around our eyes.
j.e.b. (( the future is much less scary with you in it. ))
i know better. at least, i knew better. because here i am again, burned and broken and bested. this is how it always goes, isn’t it? i will never be pretty enough, edgy enough, confident enough. something will always be wrong, at least in some way. i will never compare to those you love most. what could possibly be the point of cutting myself open, if losing is the only option?
“1. i never stopped loving you. 2. there isn’t a day that’s gone by
where you haven’t consumed my every thought. 3. a pie. a pie made me think of you this morning. 4. i see you in everyone. 5. you should be here. you would love this movie. 6. i stuck by you through everything. no matter how much you hurt me, i always answered your 4 am calls. 7. everyone says you’re not coming back. honestly, i’m starting to believe them. 8. i don’t think i’ll ever stop loving you. ”
hm sometimes i wish i was one of those people who moves thousands of miles away and never looks back and has a ton of adventures unmoored from their past and where they’re from but i can’t help looking back and i’m deeply, fervently defined by every person, thing, or place i’ve ever loved
“In my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been?’ I say, ‘I’ve been lost but I’m here now. You’re the only person who has ever been able to find me.’”
